We've been blessed to be visiting Southern Spain for the past week thanks to my wonderful Mom and Dad. They graciously shared some of their timeshare points so we could relax in style, something that we definitely needed! Its been wonderful to enjoy things that we can't normally get in Morocco - bacon, decent milk, swimming pools, good ice cream and time as a family. Its been a nice time for me to spend some quality time thinking about some themes that God seems to have been quietly mentioning to my heart.
For the past few months I've been wondering, wrestling and worrying about my role as a Mom. Am I doing enough, what if my kids grow up to be hoodlums? What if they never learn their multiplication tables! I never really finished my thoughts, there wasn't time for that, just let the thoughts that danced across my brain and then joined the pile of things to think about someday. I've had great conversations with friends and family about priorities and trusting God to do the work, but I've struggled with my role in all of this. How do I really know I'm doing a good job?
On our way here Joey and I were talking about an organization we work with to help the poor in our area. They recently had shared with Joey how they evaluate various groups. They look at both the "output" and the "outcome". They are separate in their minds and involve totally different things. As we talked about the organization I felt like God was saying to me that I needed to start evaluating my life looking at "outputs" and "outcomes". Its all still in the processing, thinking through stage but we're making progress. See, the output, thats my part, my role. The outcomes, thats totally up to God. My only role in outcomes is prayer. The outputs as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Friend, etc. Those are things I can measure, control and evaluate. I can set goals and meet them. I can accomplish things and move on. I suddenly have definition and a concrete way to look at my life, see the output and know if I'm doing a good job or change if need be.
I realize that I've known most of this before, but I've struggled to apply it to being a mom. So, over the past week I have spent time thinking about what my outputs have been. I've been able to say "good job" and "gotta change that" in multiple areas. I've set goals and priorities mentally for my relationships, my "jobs" and just life in general. There is a lot more to think about, a lot more to sort, but I feel suddenly confident knowing (being reminded I suppose) that God has got the outcomes covered, I am only responsible for the output. I know that the thing with output is it constantly needs to be reworked, re-evaluated to make sure I'm on track with what God has for us. I also am reminded that getting away from things and time alone to think through what God has been whispering to my heart is necessary for me.
So, I guess I'll need to go on vacation a lot more often :-)
For the past few months I've been wondering, wrestling and worrying about my role as a Mom. Am I doing enough, what if my kids grow up to be hoodlums? What if they never learn their multiplication tables! I never really finished my thoughts, there wasn't time for that, just let the thoughts that danced across my brain and then joined the pile of things to think about someday. I've had great conversations with friends and family about priorities and trusting God to do the work, but I've struggled with my role in all of this. How do I really know I'm doing a good job?
On our way here Joey and I were talking about an organization we work with to help the poor in our area. They recently had shared with Joey how they evaluate various groups. They look at both the "output" and the "outcome". They are separate in their minds and involve totally different things. As we talked about the organization I felt like God was saying to me that I needed to start evaluating my life looking at "outputs" and "outcomes". Its all still in the processing, thinking through stage but we're making progress. See, the output, thats my part, my role. The outcomes, thats totally up to God. My only role in outcomes is prayer. The outputs as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Friend, etc. Those are things I can measure, control and evaluate. I can set goals and meet them. I can accomplish things and move on. I suddenly have definition and a concrete way to look at my life, see the output and know if I'm doing a good job or change if need be.
I realize that I've known most of this before, but I've struggled to apply it to being a mom. So, over the past week I have spent time thinking about what my outputs have been. I've been able to say "good job" and "gotta change that" in multiple areas. I've set goals and priorities mentally for my relationships, my "jobs" and just life in general. There is a lot more to think about, a lot more to sort, but I feel suddenly confident knowing (being reminded I suppose) that God has got the outcomes covered, I am only responsible for the output. I know that the thing with output is it constantly needs to be reworked, re-evaluated to make sure I'm on track with what God has for us. I also am reminded that getting away from things and time alone to think through what God has been whispering to my heart is necessary for me.
So, I guess I'll need to go on vacation a lot more often :-)
