Back To Life, Back To Reality...

My parents left this morning. My Mom had been here for a week helping me with the kiddos and keeping me from picking up things that weigh more then Phoebe. I guess you're not suppose to pick up heavy stuff after a major surgery. Something about large incisions or some such thing.

It was wonderful to have my Mom here. I wasn't sure how it would go honestly. See I am not very good at letting people help me do things. OK, I totally suck at letting people help me. Its just easier to do it myself. I could pretend I don't want to be a burder, or that I am a fully capable individual but actually I am just selfish and lazy and don't want to put out the effort to let people do things the way they want to instead of doing it my way. My Mom, though, was a trooper. She dealt with my attitudes, and comments. She brought her game face and cleaned house, made lunches and held babies like a champ. Most importantly she blessed me numerous times in little and big ways. Simply by being here, loving on my kids and loving on me she gave glory to God and encouraged my heart.

But Dad missed her. So he came up and got her, taking her back to her reality and leaving me to mine. I've been thinking a lot about my reality the past few days. The beauty of nursing a new baby is you have lots of time to think and read and think some more. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I like my reality. I like it a lot. I especially like the part about how well I am know by God and how perfectly he has orchastrated my reality. He has given me exactly what I need to make it through each day and He set things in motion for my growth and change. He is not leaving me the way I am, but instead working with in me so that I might bring Him glory and so that I might be fully who He created me to be. He knows me that well.

There have been times when I have not liked my reality. Like today, after the parents had left, just before lunch when everyone went psycho and started crying at once and the thought wandered across my brain that this was completely out of control and I wondered what exactly I was doing here. The thought passed though and I found joy in the midst of peanut butter and jelly. But there have been seasons where reality was not something I enjoyed. I was blinded by the trials, focused on the "unanswered" prayers and confused by what I thought were my desires. The thing is though that My God knows me better than I know myself. He has seen my heart and still loves me. He sees past my bad moments and embraces my victories. And looking back I can see how He placed things in my life for a reason and that is what gives me hope for today.  That is what brings joy to my reality.

The words of a song have been running through my mind today. They seem to fit with these jumbled thoughts. So at the risk of adding more randomness to this post I'll leave you with these words by Matt Redman. 

"Even though I walk through 

the valley Of the shadow of death  

Your perfect love is casting out fear

 
And even when I’m caught in the middle 

Of the storms of this life I won’t turn back, 

I know You are near

 
And I will fear no evil 

For my God is with me 

And if my God is with me  

Whom then shall I fear?  

Whom then shall I fear?
 

Oh no, You never let go  

Through the calm and through the storm  

Oh no, You never let go  

In every high and every low  

Oh no, You never let go Lord, 

You never let go of me"

Every Good & Perfect Gift.

When I was little we use to talk about what life would be like when it was the year 2000. "Can you imagine what it will be like? Cars will fly, We'll live on the Moon and I'll be 21. Oh my gosh. SO old."

Here we are now, 2013. How did that happen? How has time flown so quickly and how has my life turned out so incredibly different than I thought back then. My car doesn't fly and I only feel like I live on the moon. And, I'm 34. Seriously, NOT so old.

My life has turned out quite different from what I imagined. And I can only say "PRAISE THE LORD". Oh how he has blessed me and given me grace and joy beyond measure. My life is good. Really good. Oh so good. It is only good because my God is good and he has blessed me with every good and perfect gift. He has pulled me through each day and each moment and smiled at my weaknesses. He has grown me and changed me and shown me the right path. Do I always listen? no. should I. yes!

He has now blessed me with another little life to look after. Phoebe Easley born January 22, 2013. She was 8 lbs 12 oz and 22 in long. Another girl to add some pink to our family. Isabelle adores her, as do her brothers. Kisses every morning and occasional fist fights over who gets to hold her first. Her name means "bright & radiant" and so far she is.

Like I said, "Praise the Lord" the giver of all good gifts. 2013, totally different than I ever expected...I couldn't be more thankful!

Thanksgiving

Sometimes in the midst of life I forget. I forget things like why I opened the refrigerator and what I was going to do after I finished making coffee. Sometimes I forget to enjoy the moments and laugh at the insanity. Mostly I forget to be thankful. 

And I have SO much to be thankful for. So many blessings that I can't even begin to number them. My God has supplied all my needs according to his riches in heaven and he has done more than I could ever ask or imagine. 

I find myself rejoicing that we have such a day here in America. A day to remember what we've been given, what we've been spared and how we've been cared for. 

So this Thanksgiving, I will not forget. I will remember and be Thankful.

 

I am especially thankful for these 4 bundles and all the joy they bring my way. Thankful that we get to add one more blessing to our family in January. Seriously, how could I forget to be thankful with little reminders such as these?! Aren't they cute?!

Isabelle Turns One!

 

Its hard to believe that at this time a year ago I was already out of surgery and holding my new baby girl. I'll never forget the excitement of the Dr. and nurses when they told me we'd had a girl. They all knew about our three wonderful boys and they were so excited for us to be able to add a little girl. Since she was born in Spain they spoke Spanish when telling me about her. It took a few minutes for me to process what they had said. Not only because my Spanish is horrid, but also because I was so surprised. 

Isabelle has been such a fun addition to the family. I love her laugh and smile and especially the way she is head over heels about her brothers. Her personality is starting to show up and we are having a blast watching her grow and learn. I can't wait for the coming years!

We celebrated her birthday a few days early because Joey's parents are headed to Morocco today. We combined first birthday and going away. It made the going easier, and the party bigger! Nothing like Mexican lazagna and cheesecake to bolster the party spirit. In my family we have a tradition (like every other family in America) of giving the birthday kid, on their 1st birthday, their very own cake. Then you stand back and wait for them to dig in. Usually its a lot of fun. Not so much this time. Isabelle was not interested in eating this cake.

We even got a cheering squad to encourage a little digging in. They were all ready to step in an help eat if need be. 

Nope, not interested. So last night we decided we'll try again. There was a whole pink carrot cake that needed eating. So we set her up in the highchair and went for a second round. At first things seemed a bit more promising. She started eating the frosting and trying to suck every last drop off her hands.

But it wasn't until I dug in with a fork for a few bites that she really got into it. Our pretty little princess didn't want to be too messy. 

Well, not at first anyway. She ended up finishing off a third of the cake and only stopped because it was time for dinner and she was more interested in meat and potatoes.

I think that means she's going to be ok. 

Happy Birthday Isabelle. 

We love you!

They Say The Darndest Things!

**While discussing going to heaven and leaving our present body behind.**

Josiah: "But what are we going to do [in heaven] if we don't have a bottom?!"

Me: "Uh?..."

Josiah: (Very concerned expression on his face) "Are we going to get to sit down?"

**While talking about how its a brothers job to protect his sister and ok any future husbands.**

Josiah: "but we don't want her [Isabelle] to get married"

Joey: "We don't?"

Josiah: "No, she's sooo nice and cute. We want her to stay with us."

**While talking about riding bikes with friends Elias & TT (a girl).**

 Benson: "Lets go ride bikes with Elias and TT. Well, not TT she doesn't have a bike. She'll have to just stand there and yell 'GO  BENSON!!!'"

**Anytime after racing or playing a game.**

 Josiah or Benson: "I'm the winner"

William: (With arms raised and smiling.) "Yeah! Mine Did It! I Loser!!!"

I sure do love my kiddos and the crazy things they say!

Happy Birthday!

Today I am celebrating the birth of my wonderful husband. There is a lot I could say about this amazing man that God has given me. Probably more that I couldn't even begin to express. He is my very most favorite person ever. He makes me laugh and comforts me when I'm crying. He has been an instrument of change in my life. I could not imagine life without him, I don't want to. When I say he's my best friend, its not because I'm being cheesy (which I am prone to) its because its true. There is no one else I'd rather hang out with. Needless to say I am blessed to know him and have him in my life. 

I'm praying that this year He is blessed 100 times for all the blessings he gives. I am praying he is filled with joy and peace and that whatever this year brings us we'll be able to stand together with the Lord.

Happy Birthday Youssef. I Love You!

Motherhood

For Mothers Day we had just arrived in Southern Spain for a week long get away with my parents. Joey however was faithful to slip away and get some beautiful daisy's and we went out to a wonderful dinner that evening. I was blessed and appreciated. It was nice. 

Now three days after the special day I find myself reflecting on motherhood. Sometimes in the midst of the chaos that comes with four kids 5 and under I forget about the joy and see only the trial. Sometimes I find myself reacting only to the negatives and never the positives. And sometimes I am overwhelmed and tired. But on vacation I can remember that motherhood isn't only about the hard times. My life as a Mom is FULL of victories and joy. FULL of laughter and growth. FULL of blessing and gifts. 

These four precious people that God has graciously entrusted to my care are one of the most incredible and wonderful gifts I have ever known. God has used them to shape me and mold me to be a better person and to walk away from sin. He has reminded me what it means to have a child like faith and a trusting spirit. Through them He has taught me to laugh at the chaos and let Him have control. Because only He can truly have control in their lives and mine.

I love them. These four. They are something special. There is a lot I could do better as I mother them. A lot of areas I still need to surrender unto God. They are helping me though and I know that in the years to come as I again have opportunity to reflect I will see the hand of God using them to shape and mold my life. Lord willing I will be a better reflection of Him and Lord willing they will see more of Christ in me. 

Thank you Lord for the gift of motherhood. Thank you for helping me to be a better mom and for letting me be a mom to these four balls of chaos and joy. I couldn't ask for anything more.