Thursday

Today has been good. Which is weird for this week. We've had lots of good moments, but more meltdowns and freak outs stand out to me. Not all by the kids mind you. No, no. I had my fair share of screaming-like-a banshee-woman-on-crack moments, don't you worry. 

So when I woke up at 5am to feed Phoebe, (who must be growing, cuz she's been sleeping through the night) I couldn't get back to sleep. I tossed and turned. I rested. Then I did something I always wish I would do but never do. I prayed. Prayed for the day, prayed for ideas on how to accomplish the things on the list, prayed for the kids and me and our attitudes. I am not eloquent in general, but at 5 am, not at all. Yet God is SO gracious and He opened up my mind to all sorts of ideas for the kids today. Seriously I presented Him with a problem - upstairs a mess, 2 HUGE piles of Laundry - and then He followed up with a great answer. Well, a set of possible answers depending on the weather - See, He is that good. No doubt about it! 

So when the boys woke up singing, I should not have been surprised, but I was. It was amazing. William my complainer woke up SO HAPPY I couldn't believe it. He laughed with his brothers, they made jokes. It was straight out of the twilight zone. 

Now don't start thinking the day has been perfect. There have been spankings, moments of raised voice, tears and quite a bit of complaining. Yet God met me and met my needs and we had a great, great, great morning.

 

Now if only I can be awake tomorrow and let God have control of my day. What other amazing things might happen?

Our Little "Farm"

We have 2 dogs, a cat, 30 chickens, 7 beef cows and as of last night, two milk cows. Well, one milk cow, Jasmine, and her new calf, who doesn't have a name yet. He was born last night surrounded by most of the neighborhood. All of us bundled up and watching anxiously. My brother-in-law Brent sat by Jasmine's head and comforted her as she labored. Then when it looked like she might delay delivery one more time (she'd already stood up and down a number of times stopping the baby from actually exiting her body) Brent graciously helped the baby be born by pulling him out. It was incredible to watch. The poor thing. She worked hard and was worn out. 

Last Sunday a friend asked me if I ever thought I'd end up here. Living on a "farm". Wearing rubber boots not because they are stylish, but because I'm sloshing through muck and mire. Using the excuse "sorry I'm late, the cows got out" and actually meaning it. Did I ever think this would be a part of my life? And the answer is no, not really. But honestly does any of us ever do anything we expect? I try and pretend like I don't like it, chickens gross me out and cows are stinky, but the truth is  - its kinda fun. And at the end of the day when I can say that the cows didn't get away because I fixed the fence. Well, I feel kinda proud to know that I can swing a hammer and move a cow. 

Years ago our dog Mocha, who is in doggy heaven, was attacked by some animal. We still don't know what. He was covered in scratches and cuts. He required medication, cleaning of wounds and general compassion and care. Up until he got attacked I constantly complained that I didn't like him. He was dirty and smelly and big. He was just a stupid dog. At the vet though when they told me that he might die I bawled my eyes out. Poor Joey he was so confused. I didn't like that stupid dog, but I was crying like it was my aunt dying. The truth is I did like Mocha. He was dirty and smelly and big, but he was a good dog. 

So, the point of this post, beyond showing you pictures of our new baby cow, is to confess to the world (or the 3 of you who read this) that no matter how much I huff and puff about extra work and dirty animals - I like it here on this "farm" and I am excited (yep, I said it) to see what happens next.

William showing me the secret phone tree where you can call for help to fight the bad guys. Could there be a more perfect place to raise these boys?

And girls too. Isn't she the cutest? I just had to add a picture of "Lardy Cakes". Her cheeks are like squishy marshmallows that your kisses just sink into. You can't help yourself you have to give them a pinch followed closely by a snuggle. I dare you to try not to!

Our Week

At the beginning of the week Josiah prayed that we would have a sunny day. It was pretty cute hearing him ask God for the sun to come and pretty wonderful when the next day it was sunny and Josiah said with confidence "its sunny because I prayed that it would be sunny and God answers our prayers." I was struck by the goodness of our God who loves to shower us with good and wonderful gifts.

So, the sun came out and the cousins came over. They had SO much fun jumping on the trampoline and playing chase. At one point the little boys were monsters chasing the big boys around the back yard. It was great! Praise the Lord for sunny days!

Our little phoebe is 6 weeks old as of this week. After loads of dorky photos I was finally able to capture her smile. What a cutie! She is something special and I love getting to see her respond to everyone around her.

We've also started a new weekly tradition. Wednesday night Taco night. Or Burrito, whatever floats your boat. Honestly I'm kind of a double-decker taco girl myself. The boys LOVE it. I had no idea until last week when taco shells were on sale so I bought some. I think it is a success. They have all remarked on how taco night is the best night ever, but they're prone to exaggeration. Like their mother.

Isabelle spent the other day cleaning the floor with her back. I don't know what got into her. She scooted around the island slowly on her back singing some song and holding this water bottle. Her personality is coming out more and more and I gotta tell you. I LOVE what I'm seeing. 

And like all good little boys and girls we've been doing school. I started giving little red stars on papers that were looking especially nice. Who knew red stars could be so motivating. I don't think we've had a better week with school. Its amazing. If things went this well with a red marker I'm wondering what sort of miracles we could make happen with stickers! Imagine the possibilities!

That was our week. They say that time flies when you're having fun. I think it just plain flies whether you're having fun or not. I'm happy to say it was a mostly fun week!

Innocence

I sat listening to the sound of little rain boots go running around just below the window. Suddenly camo clad boys with wooden guns and sticks came into view. Off they went into the woods to save the day. Protect the king they call it. I'm not sure what all is involved except that everyone is running and having so much fun you can't capture them on the camera. Believe me, I've tried.

Earlier today I took all 5 kids to the grocery store. The grocery store is one of my boys' favorite places. You get cookies there, they have carts that look like cars and so many other things to behold.

Innocence. It such a special and wonderful thing. I've been reminded of that today. It is a blessing to send my boys out the back door into the woods and the wild and to feel completely at ease. So many of my friends live in places where they cannot trust those around them. Their kids cannot run through the fields and hills because there are scary things out there. Innocence lost. We are blessed.

Someday cookies and car carts will not hold the attention of my little men. Someday running through the woods pretending to get the bad guys will be boring and old fashioned. But today it is everything. So, today I'll remember and be thankful for their innocence.

A Month Old.

Today our littlest girl is a month old. I can't even believe its only been a month and at the same time life has been so full of ups and downs I can't believe it hasn't been longer! Phoebs is really a great little baby. She eats good, sleeps pretty good and seems to have a pretty tough skin. Its hard to be the youngest of 5 and not get beat up. They all just love her too much I guess. Its not hard to see why. Look at those cheeks! They scream "KISS ME!"

Today is the stormiest day we've had in a long time. Benson keeps looking out the back door and sticking his head out to see how stormy it is. I have to laugh because our back door is all glass so he can see just fine how stormy it is :-) On days like this the boys talk about Morocco more than other days. Today they've talked a lot about their toys and friends that they miss. Its pretty sweet.

It is so much fun to be here though surrounded by family and friends. Its hard to beat afternoons of craziness on the trampoline with all the boy cousins. Hard to beat time with special animal friends and time to learn lessons only provided by rainy days. You always seem to want to be somewhere you're not. Hopefully we can all learn the lesson this year of being happy right where God has us. 

Isabelle and her special Kitty.

9 boys on one trampoline. Come on over, there's room for one more!

Back To Life, Back To Reality...

My parents left this morning. My Mom had been here for a week helping me with the kiddos and keeping me from picking up things that weigh more then Phoebe. I guess you're not suppose to pick up heavy stuff after a major surgery. Something about large incisions or some such thing.

It was wonderful to have my Mom here. I wasn't sure how it would go honestly. See I am not very good at letting people help me do things. OK, I totally suck at letting people help me. Its just easier to do it myself. I could pretend I don't want to be a burder, or that I am a fully capable individual but actually I am just selfish and lazy and don't want to put out the effort to let people do things the way they want to instead of doing it my way. My Mom, though, was a trooper. She dealt with my attitudes, and comments. She brought her game face and cleaned house, made lunches and held babies like a champ. Most importantly she blessed me numerous times in little and big ways. Simply by being here, loving on my kids and loving on me she gave glory to God and encouraged my heart.

But Dad missed her. So he came up and got her, taking her back to her reality and leaving me to mine. I've been thinking a lot about my reality the past few days. The beauty of nursing a new baby is you have lots of time to think and read and think some more. Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I like my reality. I like it a lot. I especially like the part about how well I am know by God and how perfectly he has orchastrated my reality. He has given me exactly what I need to make it through each day and He set things in motion for my growth and change. He is not leaving me the way I am, but instead working with in me so that I might bring Him glory and so that I might be fully who He created me to be. He knows me that well.

There have been times when I have not liked my reality. Like today, after the parents had left, just before lunch when everyone went psycho and started crying at once and the thought wandered across my brain that this was completely out of control and I wondered what exactly I was doing here. The thought passed though and I found joy in the midst of peanut butter and jelly. But there have been seasons where reality was not something I enjoyed. I was blinded by the trials, focused on the "unanswered" prayers and confused by what I thought were my desires. The thing is though that My God knows me better than I know myself. He has seen my heart and still loves me. He sees past my bad moments and embraces my victories. And looking back I can see how He placed things in my life for a reason and that is what gives me hope for today.  That is what brings joy to my reality.

The words of a song have been running through my mind today. They seem to fit with these jumbled thoughts. So at the risk of adding more randomness to this post I'll leave you with these words by Matt Redman. 

"Even though I walk through 

the valley Of the shadow of death  

Your perfect love is casting out fear

 
And even when I’m caught in the middle 

Of the storms of this life I won’t turn back, 

I know You are near

 
And I will fear no evil 

For my God is with me 

And if my God is with me  

Whom then shall I fear?  

Whom then shall I fear?
 

Oh no, You never let go  

Through the calm and through the storm  

Oh no, You never let go  

In every high and every low  

Oh no, You never let go Lord, 

You never let go of me"

Every Good & Perfect Gift.

When I was little we use to talk about what life would be like when it was the year 2000. "Can you imagine what it will be like? Cars will fly, We'll live on the Moon and I'll be 21. Oh my gosh. SO old."

Here we are now, 2013. How did that happen? How has time flown so quickly and how has my life turned out so incredibly different than I thought back then. My car doesn't fly and I only feel like I live on the moon. And, I'm 34. Seriously, NOT so old.

My life has turned out quite different from what I imagined. And I can only say "PRAISE THE LORD". Oh how he has blessed me and given me grace and joy beyond measure. My life is good. Really good. Oh so good. It is only good because my God is good and he has blessed me with every good and perfect gift. He has pulled me through each day and each moment and smiled at my weaknesses. He has grown me and changed me and shown me the right path. Do I always listen? no. should I. yes!

He has now blessed me with another little life to look after. Phoebe Easley born January 22, 2013. She was 8 lbs 12 oz and 22 in long. Another girl to add some pink to our family. Isabelle adores her, as do her brothers. Kisses every morning and occasional fist fights over who gets to hold her first. Her name means "bright & radiant" and so far she is.

Like I said, "Praise the Lord" the giver of all good gifts. 2013, totally different than I ever expected...I couldn't be more thankful!