Offering of Praise

I don't know if you'll even care, but I've got to do something. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older and more cranky, or because I'm in the middle of the little years and time is not something I have much of, or maybe because of living here among the oppressed and downtrodden. Whatever it is I am loosing my joy. I can feel it slipping away, sometimes slowly, sometimes in big chunks. My heart is angry and cynical. I am asking questions based on doubt, and so so quick to explode or fall into self pity. I've been here before, maybe not exactly the same, but I've lost my joy before and I can't let it happen again. So, I've got to do something. 

It's almost midnight. Three minutes to spare. Before I go to bed though I want to praise my God. I want to remember His gifts. To thank Him for His blessings. I will give up an offering of praise and let it fill my soul. My God is good, and He has been so, so good to me. Let me publicly proclaim His gifts.

He has blessed me with a dear and wonderful friend in my husband. How thankful I am for Joey. My sharpener and my support. The one who makes my heart laugh and sing all at the same time. A picture of Christ, Thank you Lord for Joey.

Thank you Lord for the gift of motherhood. It is the hardest thing I have ever done, being a mom. Harder than I ever thought, and more wonderful than I could have imagined. Thank you for the successes and failures and the daily reminders of my own weakness. Thank you for the blessing of being completely and totally loved by five wonderful, amazing little people. Thank you for morning snuggles and midnight kisses. Thank you for squeals of laughter and hours of noise. Thank you Lord for Josiah, Benson, William, Isabelle and Phoebe. 

Morocco. Who would have ever thought. Thank you for bringing me here and showing me your world. Thank you for these amazing people and their acceptance and love for me. Thank you for allowing me to see you work miracles here and thank you for never once leaving me alone. Thank you for all that Morocco has offered me, most importantly thank you for making this a home. 

Tomorrow I will write more. Tonight I will remember and praise my God. May this offering of praise be pleasing to you oh Lord and may it lead to a renewed joy. 

Rain

As I went to bed last night the sky was clear, the moon bright. My weather app said there was 100% chance of rain, but there was no sign anywhere. We've been waiting for rain since last year about this time. Normally there would be a good rain preparing the soil for the peas and beans that everyone around us plants. Last year that rain never really came. Crops were planted but never amounted to much. I remember in March going to help harvest the few peas that had survived. I've never seen this area so brown and barren that time of year. Brown shriveled piles of leaves and steams littered the ground. Not only did the families have nothing to eat, there was nothing to sell nothing to trade. Many farmers had purchased seed on credit with the plan to pay back once they harvested their crops. 

This fall everyone has been holding their breath waiting for the rain. Desperately, it's all anyone talks about. Each day dawns warm and bright, not a cloud in the sky. Will we have another year like last year ? Could we survive? Then today as the sun comes up the sky is full of black ugly clouds. Rain started sprinkling down at first until it was quickly a downpour. Puddles and mud and smiling faces, everywhere. After a rain like today there is hope of a good crop and a better year. God did that. He brought the rain and with it he brought hope. Pretty awesome if you ask me. 

Siblings - a Conversation With Josiah

Just had this conversation with Josiah and I don't want to forget...

J: "Mom, it's a good thing Phoebe and Isabelle are girls."

Me: "why's that?"

J: "If you had only had boys then you would have been the only girl. Now Phoebe and Isabelle will grow up to be girls. And it's good because now Benson, William and me have sisters."

Pause

J: "I don't really like Isabelle. I really like Phoebe. I like Phoebe better than Isabelle. I still like Isabelle I just like Phoebe better."

Me: "Why do you like Phoebe better?"

J: "She is little and cute and does funny things. Sisters are good when they are older and babies. I didn't really like Isabelle when she was a baby, but it think I will like her when she gets bigger."

Me: "What do you like about Isabelle?"

J: "I like that she's big and funny."

Me: "What do you like about William?"

J: "I like the way he makes big Legos and how he plays cars. I like the way he does things. What I like about Benson is the way he makes airplanes, and little Legos. I like that both William and Benson are my brothers, because of them I have someone to play with. I would be by myself without them."

Pause

J: "I don't really like Isabelle and William. I will like them when they get bigger. Right mommy? I really like Benson and Phoebe. I almost like William and Isabelle a lot. I like Benson and Phoebe this much (holds up his hands to show measurement) and I like William and Isabelle this much (moves his fingers a tiny bit closer together). It's close."

This kid is killing me. Thinking about so much and wanting to do what is right, but struggling with being annoyed with his younger siblings. Sometimes I am fully aware of the insanity of having 5 kids in 6 years, but more often I am so thankful that these five little lives have one another to grow with, learn with and love. Praise the Lord.

Listening

“Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.”-Jane Austen

My Sister-in-law shared this quote with me the other day and it sums up our life perfectly these days. Isabelle turns 3 on Friday. Seriously, how is that even possible?! Not only is it hard to believe she'll be so old, but how in the world is it the end of the summer already?! The summer has been full and wonderful. We enjoyed a week away as a family, and have spent a couple great days at the beach. Life keeps going though and now its time to turn our minds towards what is next. Isabelle's birthday signals the final weeks of freedom. Soon the alarm clock will require I rise and shine and the evenings will be full of preparation for the next day. 

Isabelle and her friend Afiffa enjoying lunch at the beach.

In September we will be hosting two different groups of volunteer teams. One of the groups is from Spain and only half of them speak any English! The other group is from our hometown and brings with them family and friends! (SO excited!) We will also jump full force into school. Josiah will be home schooled this year while Benson and William head back to the private Arabic school near us. Hopefully Isabelle will get to go to a local preschool so she can pick up some language. 

Benson and the awesome sand castle he made with Joey.

Spending lots of time together this summer has afforded me lots of time to challenge the kids in areas we're lacking. Mostly that has looked like me reminding them what their "job" is in our family. To listen and obey Mom and Dad. We seem to go over that a lot, everyone seems to think its their job to tell everyone else what to do. Recently I've realized that just like my kids my "job" is also to listen and obey...Christ. I listen all day to little voices, but so often I fail to listen to the only voice that matters. 

Celebrating my birthday in July.

 

This past couple weeks has been hard. Someone I love deeply is making choices I don't like or agree with. My heart is heavy and broken and I am often crying out to God to change the situation, work a miracle and bring about something new. Today my heart is heavy with this call to listen. Listen to the promises, listen to the truth and wisdom found in the Word. Let the voice of Christ permeate my day to day and know that, I should do my job, He will do His. 

Family hike to a secluded beach.

So as I head into Fall, I need to work to make a change. More time listening to the one who formed my heart and knows my needs. Because I believe all these quick successions of busy nothings will someday add up to something in His grand plan.

Summer Break

Today is the first day of summer break. Sigh. Let me tell you, it's been a beautiful morning. 

First, everyone slept until 8. That is unheard of in this house. Unheard of. Then Josiah decided he'd like to clean up the kids room before breakfast. So on his own initiative he made all the beds, picked up the dirty clothes, put the toys in the basket, etc. It's amazing what a good nights sleep will do for you! 
After breakfast the other two boys went to play on their own and Josiah sat to read to his sisters. 

Now everyone is playing, just happy to be together and having fun. I know that our summer will have its moments of drama and fights, but I am enjoying the peace for the moment. Ya for summer!


Reality Check: As I finished typing this WWIII erupted between to two sisters...
I still say Ya for summer ;-)

Like New!

After two weeks away my awesome grey van is back and looking better than ever! I thought we were having some mechanical work done all this time (we were part of the time) but Joey had arranged to have some much needed TLC done as well. So I was pleasantly surprised when the grey van pulled up looking spiffy and with a new third seat!

We didn't have a third seat before so there were always kids sitting on the ground in the back, standing back there, having a wrestling match or a whole plethora of other activities happened back there. So, now we have a great third seat, everyone has a spot and everyone is super excited! This third seat folds up to make room for stuff in the back, and there is lots of leg room which is nice since the middle seat has little leg room at all. Isn't it great?!

He also fixed the passenger side door that wouldn't open from the inside, fixed windows, stripped areas of rust and painted. It looked like a brand new van. Oh, and there is a new radio! How fun is that?!

It was such a nice surprise because I do really love this old van, but some of its quirks were getting annoying. Now, it's so nice!

In other news it's World Cup time around here. Every night we've been watching a few games. Joey stayed up to watch the USA game, and the boys are watching and practicing outside every chance they get. They've even brought the World Cup to the breakfast table. This morning we had pancakes and I looked over to see soccer stadiums being built with pancake pieces.

There were lots of discussions about what plays were happening as they ate with pancake pieces dancing across the syrup "fields" to score a goal. 

These kids, they kill me.

We keep waiting for summer break. Yesterday we finally got the official word, the last day of school party is the 26th. Not sure who is more excited them or me. Just a few days after school ends we begin the holy month of Ramadan, which means no work for Joey and lots of beach trips. Yup, I'm counting down the days!

Finally, Father's Day is not a Moroccan holiday, but I did barely remember and pull off a few special treats for the day. We are so blessed by Joey! He is an amazing Father and I can't even imagine doing this without him, I couldn't do this without him. Praise The Lord I don't have to!

The Beast & Other News

Summer is officially around the corner. Yesterday Josiah got his schedule from school saying he has two weeks until they start vacation. Lets just say the boys are very excited. I have to admit, I am too. Driving back and forth twice a day is not really my favorite thing ever. 

Driving is especially annoying these days because our grey van, which I normally drive, is in the shop. So I've been driving the white van, which I affectionately call "The Beast". 

While this van is awesome and my husband seriously loves it, it is not a van that women in Morocco would EVER be seen driving. Ever. So everywhere I go I am literally pointed at, laughed at and often times applauded (and not in an encouraging way). I should be use to this kind of attention being a foreigner here, but driving The Beast has been more than I like. I am so looking forward to the return of our little grey van and a bit more anonymity. 

In other news we got the pool set up on the roof and have enjoyed a few days swimming. 

Poor Phleebs is too small for the big pool.

She wants to get in SO badly!

Finally a pool of her own. Just the right size.

The kids and I both love the roof and all the fun it affords us. Looking forward to summer afternoons enjoying some iced tea and watching the kidlets burn some energy. Maybe I'll even get a tan!